I listen to Kevin Smith’s Smodcasts when I am on the train or in my car when off to my jobjob.

The one I was listening to today was at a Star Wars convention and someone asked him about the movie he was been working on called Hit Somebody. Now when I was last listening to Smod he was all up in into this movie. Getting ready to shoot and the like. Now he was talking about still writing it. He then said something that really hit home with me. “I have a lot of spinning plates and sometimes I leave one behind and try to come back to it.”

Now people who know me know I like to light the candle at 8 or 9 ends. This has been my method of doing things for a while. I never give anything my all because I have so little left after each thing. This has led to lost money, hurt friendships, and other nonfun things (IRS, Lawyers).

As I approach 40 and realize I may actually get this game published, I have come to a crossroads. Do I keep the crazy seat of my pants life that I have lived for the past 20 years (living at home doesn’t count) or do I finally focus on something that I will put out in the world and will (hopefully) outlast me.

I hate the term grow up because the things I was supposed to leave behind in childhood to “Grow Up” have given me my friends, my job, my hobbies and even my daughter (Never would have met her mother if her uncle wasn’t a nerd). I think though there may be a time in your life when you realize you will never be able to do everything. A time when you decide to do something that gets your all instead of what you can spare.

By the end of my commute  I reached my “Moment of clarity” It is time to finish what I started.  The game I wrote in notebooks while playing with Mike, Mike, and Adam almost 20 years ago.

It is time I stop all the spinning plates, light a new candle and jump Into the Nexus.